It Was You Page 16

  “It’s hard to meet people,” she said enigmatically.

  I hesitated, then forged ahead. “I think if I did meet someone, I’d be ready. I’ve been working on myself, and I feel much more ready for a relationship. I wouldn’t make any of the newbie mistakes that I made… with you. I’ve been prioritizing honesty, and it’s really working for me.”

  She looked down. “I’m glad to hear that. For what it’s worth, I’ve realized I overreacted to your mistakes. I never gave you a chance to make things right, and I threw out an amazing relationship that probably could’ve been salvaged.”

  A spark of hope lit up in my heart. Was she saying she still had feelings for me? I licked my lips, trying to steady my nerves. Honesty, always. Just ask her if you want to know. “Are you saying you still have feelings for me?”

  She combed her fingers through her hair, looking forlorn. “I always did, Ella. That was never the issue.”

  “So…” I trailed off, not wanting to jump to the conclusion that she seemed to be implying.

  “I convinced myself that what you did outweighed all the wonderful things about you,” she said. “I thought I could find the same connection we had with someone who wouldn’t lie to me. Now that I’ve had four months to look back on our relationship, I’ve realized it’s rare to find someone who fits me like you do. It may actually be impossible to find someone as perfect for me as you.”

  Oh my God. Oh my God. She really was saying what I thought she was saying.

  “And my expectations for you were far too high,” she said. “Anyone would’ve told a white lie and not mentioned they hated Valentine’s Day. You were trying to be nice. And as for the other lie… I can’t say I understand why you did it, but I think I was too quick to decide it was a dealbreaker. Our relationship was worth more than that.”

  “I did it because I was terrified to lose you,” I said softly. “Great plan, right?”

  “Oh, Ella.”

  She stepped toward me as if she wanted to hug me, then hesitated. With joy swelling in my heart, I closed the distance between us and captured her in my arms. It felt so right to embrace her, her strawberry scent filling my nose. I was holding her again, just the way I’d dreamed of for four months.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, pressing my face into her shoulder. “I was stupid.”

  “I was stupid.” She tightened her arms around my back. “I’d like to try again, if you’re willing. We don’t have to jump into anything…”

  “Oh, we can jump into everything.”

  Her laugh ruffled my hair. “I mean, we don’t have to make things official right away. We can go on a date or two, see if the connection is still there. We spent time apart, and like you said, we’ve changed.”

  “Not that damn much.” I squeezed her as tight as I could. “I’d make you my girlfriend again right now, if you’d let me.”

  “You’re not mad at me for being so awful for you for so long?” she asked. “I’d understand if you needed to rebuild your trust in me.”

  I would’ve wanted to be with her even if she’d ignored me for a year… or ten. She was the one for me. “I betrayed you, you betrayed me. Let’s consider it even.”

  “I’m so glad we could figure this out before one of us dies,” she said, almost like she was talking to herself. “Wait, you’re not mortally wounded, are you?”

  “What? No.”

  “Good.” She ran her fingers through my hair, caressing me as she looked into my eyes. “I’m Cyrano.”

  “What are you talking about?” I shook my head.

  Judi was a mystery, and I intended to spend the rest of my life figuring her out. Right now, though, there was one thing that was more urgent.

  “Never mind,” I said. “Kiss me.”

  Twenty-Eight – Judi

  I walked into the bar, one hand in Ella’s back pocket. Todd, Ian, and the other Pride volunteers had taken up a long table at the back of the room. Their animated discussions came to a stop as, one by one, they noticed us coming toward them.

  “Is this what I think it is?” Ian screeched.

  Expectant faces waited for our answer, making me self-conscious. Ian was the only one who knew the full history of our relationship, but now I saw the rest of the group had been somewhat aware of what happened, too. And by the looks of it, they’d been rooting for us to get back together.

  “Maybe,” I said, unsure if Ella wanted to keep things private for now.

  “If you’re asking if we’re a couple again, the answer is yes,” she said. “And I couldn’t be happier.”

  Heat rose to my cheeks. This had all happened so fast… and yet in a sense, it’d been coming since the day we broke up. The wound she’d given me had slowly healed, and if anything, the distance I’d placed between us had made me appreciate her more than ever before. I loved this woman, completely and whole-heartedly, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

  Someone said “aww,” and someone else clapped. More scattered applause went around the table, and then Todd stood up to clap both of us on the back. “This calls for a drink!”

  He insisted on buying us each a beer. After that, the attention faded from us, for which I was glad. There were plenty of things from the day to talk about – although personally, I just sat in my seat, sipping my drink and enjoying the feel of Ella’s hand on my leg.

  The beers I’d had through the day had left me pleasantly warm, and now I was more content than ever. The part of me that had been missing for so long had returned, making me feel whole for the first time in months. And all it had taken was opening my heart to let Ella back in.

  On her part, she’d been ready. I would’ve thought I’d have to fight for her, to prove that I truly wanted to be with her and that I’d never dump her like this again. But it hadn’t even been necessary. It seemed like she’d been waiting for me all this time, like she’d been unable to move on, hoping that I would come back to her.

  I guessed that was how it worked when two people were meant to be.

  We stayed for a while, celebrating how well Pride had gone. After half an hour or so, though, Ella raked my thigh with her fingernails, and I glanced over to find a meaningful look in her eyes. I remembered that look from before. It usually meant I was in for a whole lot of orgasms.

  I gave her a subtle nod. That kiss from before hadn’t nearly been enough.

  “I think we’re going to get going,” I said, faking a yawn. “I’m pretty tired. Have fun, everyone!”

  “Oh, you’re tired?” Ian asked, smirking hard. “You’re going home to sleep?”

  “Yes.” I shot him a glare, all too conscious of Ella’s body heat at my side.

  “I’m sure that’s all you’re going to be doing,” he said.

  “Shut up, Ian.” Squeezing by me, Ella swatted his shoulder. “Enjoy the rest of your night, team.”

  “You to-o-o!” Ian sang out.

  We walked back, past the intersection where the festival had been. It was open to traffic again, and cars sped through as if nothing had happened here. I caught sight of a rainbow sticker on the ground, and my heart swelled. What we’d accomplished today did have lasting effects, and those would grow even more as we kept putting on Pride events year after year.

  My place was walking distance from here, which was perfect since that last beer had me stumbling. I held onto Ella’s arm, partly for support and partly just because I wanted to. I’d been away from her for so long, I never wanted to let go of her again.

  We stumbled together as we finally made it through my front door. Then she was on me, her lips leaving my senses tingling. I grabbed at her, my need for her rising more and more urgently. As we kissed, she backed up, hitting the front hallway’s wall. We laughed together and went the other way until I slammed into the other wall.

  Drunk on alcohol and intoxicated by her presence, I decided to just go with it. I backed her up, little by little, until we staggered into the living room. I kept kissing her, pressing her back
wards. The world outside us had vanished – I was immune to everything but her skin, her scent, her lips.

  Vaguely, I was conscious of wanting to get her onto the couch. I pointed her toward it blindly, and we fumbled our way there. My legs hit the leather upholstery, and I pulled her down with me.

  And collapsed onto already-waiting limbs.

  Shrieking, I broke apart from Ella and stood up. The TV was on – I hadn’t noticed – and in the dim light, I could see Chelle and Sabrina sitting serenely on the couch.

  “You two are in here?” I asked, gasping for breath. “You couldn’t have said something before we fell straight on you?”

  “You got back with Ella, I see.” Chelle popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

  “We were watching a movie,” Sabrina explained. “But it’s fine. We’re good with a live lesbian sex show instead.”

  I recoiled. “Yeah, um, we’re going to go. See you two later.” I grabbed Ella’s hand, tugging her toward the door.

  “Pride was amazing, by the way!” Chelle called after us as we went upstairs.

  I closed the bedroom door behind us, my face still flushed. “So sorry about them.”

  “I don’t even care.” She brushed a strand of hair into her bun, looking adorably shy. “I want you.” Her attempt at brazenness made her even cuter.

  “And I want you,” I said, linking my arms around her neck and breathing in her Ella scent. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”

  “I think I have an idea.” She kissed me, her tongue flicking between my lips and sending a current of heat through my body.

  I’d learned my lesson about blindly pushing her around. With my eyes wide open, I led her toward the bed. There were no surprises this time, and we both fell onto it, entangling in a heap of smooth limbs and soft skin.

  Straddling her, I kissed my way down her neck and along her collarbone. Her breath came in sharp gasps as I pressed my teeth gently into her clavicle. Desire pooled in my belly, intensifying as I trailed a finger under the collar of her shirt. I grazed a palm over her breast, and I could feel the hardness of her nipple even through the cup of her bra.

  “I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” she murmured, and more sparks shot through my body.

  “So have I,” I said, lifting her shirt over her head. “So have I.”

  I stripped her down, piece by piece, and she reclined nude before me like a classical woman in a Renaissance painting. Her breasts were ripe and kissable, her stomach curved and soft. I ached to taste her, and after denying myself for so long, I wasn’t going to wait a moment longer. Pushing her thighs apart, I dove in between.

  I took a moment to appreciate the gorgeousness of her center, her intricate folds already dripping with desire. More than that, I appreciated the fact that she’d allowed me in again. What we were about to do was so intimate, so monumental, and after the way I’d shut her out for so long, I wouldn’t have blamed her for not wanting to let me in.

  Her eyes met mine as I stroked her thighs. I saw her need for me there… and her trust. Despite what I’d done to her, she somehow still trusted me.

  And I wasn’t going to let her down – not now, not ever. I grazed my thumb over her clit, still holding eye contact, telling her silently that I loved her.

  “Judi.” The word slipped out of her in a gasp.

  I lowered my head, brought my tongue where my thumb had been. She tasted delectable, and I inhaled the scent of her familiar musk. This, right here – this was where I was supposed to be. I should never have left.

  “Oh, yeah.” Her hands found the back of my head – I’d forgotten the way she’d always grab me like this, so needy and so shameless. “Right there. Oh… right there!”

  My tongue played over the patterns that’d become so familiar four months ago. Yet this time, I pleasured her even more enthusiastically than before. This time, I was grateful just to be doing this. In response, her moans were louder, more erotic than ever.

  Squeezing her thighs, I licked harder – circle, circle, swirl, swirl. She rose onto her elbows, her hips still shuddering toward me with every stroke of my tongue. “I need more,” she breathed. “You know what I need…”

  I hummed in response, unwilling to stop using my mouth on her long enough to form words. I brought my tongue lower, to her dripping channel, and delved in as far as it would go. Her legs shook, and she let out a cry.

  Her hips rocked up and down, and I hung on tight so I could thrust my tongue into her over and over. She met me each time, matching each thrust with her own. We were in sync, connected – just the way we were supposed to be.

  As her cries rose higher and higher, I knew her climax was imminent.

  This was the first orgasm I would give her in our new lives together. And we had years – decades – more to come.

  Twenty-Nine – Ella

  I awoke in a tangle of blankets, my hair strewn across my face, my back awash with sweat. It took me a moment to orient myself – mostly because there was no way I could really be where I thought I was.

  I brushed the hair off my face – Judi’s hair, as it turned out, not mine – and extricated myself from her too-heavy blankets. She slept peacefully beside me, lying on her side, a small smile etched onto her face.

  Careful not to wake her, I eased out of bed, oddly self-conscious about being naked, given that no one was awake here to see me. Months ago, I’d left a toothbrush and a stick of deodorant here. I peeked into her bathroom, certain they’d be gone.

  They were still there. She’d kept them for me. When she left home yesterday, she hadn’t even known I’d come over here – she hadn’t put them back there for me. If they were right there where I’d left them, that was because she’d never moved them. As if she’d been waiting for me.

  This was too much to handle. My legs going weak, I sat heavily on the toilet, sinking my face into my hands. For four months, I’d thought she hated me. Less than twenty-four hours ago, that was still what I would’ve said. Now we were back together, and not only had she forgiven me, she’d apologized, too.

  I brushed my teeth and took a quick shower, still marveling at the sudden change. If this was too good to be true, how could it possibly last? Judi had probably just been drunk. As soon as she woke up, she’d curse at me and kick me out.

  Wrapping myself in one of her soft towels, I ventured back into her room. She blinked her eyes open and looked at me sleepily as I sat next to her on the bed. “I almost thought I dreamed all of it,” she said, her voice thick with drowsiness. “I’m so glad you’re really here.”

  “Really? I thought…” I shook my head, leaving the sentence unfinished. Now that the light of day was on us, we needed to have a proper talk about our relationship. “I don’t get it, Judi. You hated me so much for so long. How can we snap back to normal as if nothing ever happened?”

  “That’s not what I’m trying to do. I want to talk about things. We’re going to have conversations about what went wrong – a lot of them.” Although she looked embarrassed, she put a hand over mine. “In the meantime, all you need to know is that I want to be with you. Desperately.”

  “Me, too.” I turned my hand over, linking my fingers through hers.

  “And we have a lot of time to make up for.”

  I licked my lips, a stir going through my core. “Yes… yes, we do.”

  *

  Over the next few days, Judi and I had many of the conversations we should’ve had back when we first broke up. The ones I’d wanted to have, when she’d ignored me instead. To her credit, she apologized time after time for the way she’d shut me out. She said that after a certain point, she’d realized her mistake, but had thought I’d be too angry to want her back. She’d thought I would’ve moved on.

  I held her tight and told her she’d been completely wrong. “There’s no one for me but you. Believe me.”

  Every moment that we weren’t at work, we were together, having long conversations and processing our em
otions. We told each other a lot of things over those few days, delving deep into our pasts and our subconscious minds to figure out why we’d acted the way we had. At times, it felt like we were psychoanalyzing each other, or ourselves.

  Digging that deeply into my psyche, I had realization after realization about my life. I came out of those discussions feeling like I knew myself better than ever before – and I knew her better than I’d ever known another person.

  I’d never known a relationship could be like this – a melding of two minds, two souls meeting and healing each other. I’d always envied the cute couples around me, and I hadn’t even known why. Now I could safely say I was as happy, likely happier, than any of them.

  My family soon figured out that we were back together. It wasn’t much of a mystery, since I’d disappeared for a night – when I’d finally checked my phone that first morning, there were about a million missed calls. They were wary, since they knew how badly Judi had hurt me. But I reminded them I’d hurt her too, and they began to understand.

  I spent more and more nights at her place, no longer worried about keeping the relationship from my family. When I came back to pick up clothes about a week after we’d gotten back together, I told my mom straight out, “I’m making up for lost time with her. I might not sleep here too often for a while.” Honesty – it was the best policy.

  “Just don’t forget about us,” she said with a wink.

  As I headed for the door, Sam came down the stairs to stop me. “Hey,” he said. “I just wanted to tell you I’m happy for you and Judi. You two obviously belong together, and it was about time you figured that out.”

  “I had it figured out this whole time, it was her who needed to catch up. But thanks.” I gave him a quick hug. “And thanks for being such a bro about this whole thing. I know it can’t have been easy to see me date your crush… or to see me get back with her.”