It Was You Read online

It seemed like a nice, quiet job for someone like me. Library patrons couldn’t be nearly as annoying as coffee shop patrons, and I wouldn’t have to be on my feet all day. Plus I adored the smell of books. On the other hand, Sam was probably right about the job market. Libraries were getting defunded all over the country, thanks to the rise of the Internet as well as political issues, and I didn’t want to go into a dying field.

  I wondered if one of the librarians behind the desk might be Sam’s sister. Not that it mattered, since I wouldn’t be meeting his family anytime soon. We’d gone back to texting like normal after our not-so-great date. We’d gotten along so well over text, I’d started to think about giving him another shot. Then the last couple days at work had been just as bad as the date.

  I was ready to accept that we just got along better over text than in person. If I was right about him Googling things to talk about, that probably had something to do with it. In any case, he’d asked me in person for a second date, and I’d said I was busy. I hoped he could take a hint. If not, I’d reject him properly.

  The Pride meeting was already getting started when I slipped into the boardroom. I took a seat next to Ian, and peeked around him to say hi to Ella, the pretty girl who’d asked me out last time. I hadn’t thought much about her since two weeks ago. We’d barely interacted, and I didn’t know much about her. Now I looked at her with renewed interest. If I wasn’t going to go for Sam, maybe I could try getting coffee with her. But I’d want to get to know her a little first.

  The group spent a few minutes talking about the overall status of things, and then each subcommittee’s head updated us on what they’d accomplished since the last meeting. I panicked for a second, until I remembered Ian had been in charge of designing the posters for us. I hadn’t had to do anything over the past two weeks.

  He pulled out a few sheets of paper when it came to his turn. “I made a few versions,” he said, sounding uncharacteristically shy as he passed them around. “Go easy on me, okay?”

  I peered at the different designs. One had the rainbow colors painted over the whole page, while another had blocks of color. One said “2019 Pride Festival” and hardly anything else, and another was full of information.

  I looked back and forth between them. Each was better than the last. I had no idea how I’d even begin to decide between them, and the whole subcommittee was going to have to agree on one? That was going to take forever when they were all this great.

  “No one is saying anything,” Ian said nervously.

  “Because they’re all amazing, dude.” Ella gave him a light punch on the arm. “All these years, and I never knew you were a pro graphic designer.”

  “It’s nothing.” He waved away the compliment.

  Next, the fundraising subcommittee reported what they’d been up to. “I’ve been calling one local business every day, looking for potential sponsors,” Ella said. “A lot of them have been surprisingly open to the idea.”

  “That’s great!” Todd said. “Anything set up for sure yet?”

  “Not yet. A bunch of them said they’d call me back, and if they don’t, I plan to call back and harass them.”

  I liked the confident way she said that, and the determined set to her brow. She was definitely an interesting girl, and it seemed like we might get along better in person than Sam and I did.

  We split into our subcommittees for the rest of the meeting. Ian and my other group members sifted through the potential poster options, trying to pare them down to one or two. I half-listened, but I was paying equal attention to Ella over in her group. She spoke often, and her voice carried through the room.

  “I’ve been trying to contact the smaller, progressive companies that are more likely to want to associate themselves with LGBT stuff,” she said. “Once I’ve practiced on those, I’ll try my spiel on some of the bigger corporations.”

  “Judi, do you have an opinion?” Ian asked.

  I turned my attention back to my own group. “You know, I honestly love all of these. Can’t we use two or three?”

  “Have multiple posters?” he asked with a frown.

  “Why not?” I asked. “There’s no reason that they all have to match. In fact, having two different designs could mean people will notice them twice as often.”

  “We could even target them to different areas,” another man said. “Like, we could make one emphasizing the family-friendly events and put it up in school areas.”

  I tuned out, letting my eyes stray over to Ella again. She gesticulated as she spoke, and the fire in her eyes intrigued me. Despite her youthful features, her self-assured attitude ensured everyone would take her seriously.

  For the most part, she’d been completely focused on her group’s conversation. Now her gaze drifted over to me, and her eyes met mine with what appeared to be confusion. I gave her a tiny shrug and turned back toward my group. I’d been caught staring, and I didn’t give a damn.

  When the meeting ended, I walked outside with her and Ian again. Ian buzzed with excitement about his poster designs. “I’m going to make a family-friendly version, and I’m going to make the fonts bigger, and I’m going to put a QR code on all of them.”

  I nodded patiently, but he just kept talking. It was as if he’d finally found his life’s purpose in making these poster designs.

  Finally I interrupted. “Ian, maybe you should get home and start working on them.”

  He blinked. “Oh… I’m boring you.”

  “Not at all!” I said, trying not to grin.

  “She’s being polite,” Ella said, looping an arm around him. “We’re bored out of our minds, but it’s okay. We love you anyway.”

  Ian shook his head. “And I love you both, even if you’re jerks. I’ll see you next time, right?”

  “See you!” we both sang out, waving as we watched him head over to his car.

  We turned to face each other, and I hugged my arms around myself. Even with my thick jacket, I got chilled by standing outside for more than a minute. The snow was ankle-deep where it hadn’t been shoveled, and my boots would only keep the water out for so long.

  “You’re cold,” Ella said.

  “It’s freezing out.”

  “We should get you inside somewhere. To your car, maybe.”

  Ah, she didn’t want to come on too strong. “I was thinking about grabbing a tea to warm up,” I said, trying to walk the fine line between casual and flirtatious. “If you’d like to join me.”

  Her eyes widened barely perceptively. “Sure, that sounds nice.”

  We decided to go to a coffee shop a few minutes away. It was close enough that we could’ve walked, but she insisted on driving to save me from the cold. I gave in, pleasantly surprised by her concern for my comfort.

  When we’d both parked, we met inside. She ordered her drink and asked me what I wanted. I said I was still deciding, but she stood back and waited for me. Although I generally preferred to pay my way on a first date, even an unofficial one, my tea was only going to be a couple of dollars. And I already had a feeling this “date” was going to go a lot better than my last one had.

  After letting her pay, we sat down and made small talk about the weather for a few minutes. The barista called our names, and after getting our drinks, we changed the subject to the Pride planning committee.

  The topic was only mildly more exciting than the weather. Of course I cared about Pride, but I’d just been thinking about it for an hour and a half. I wanted to hear about Ella – what she did for a living, how she spent her free time, what she thought about life and love and the universe.

  Still, I was happy just to be here, watching her lips move as she spoke. She’d taken off her glasses and hung them in her collar when we sat down, and her eyes were even prettier than I’d imagined – a normal shade of brown, but they sparkled with personality.

  “So…” She lifted her coffee mug, blew on the foaming milk, and set it back down again. “I assume things didn’t work out with the girl
you mentioned.”

  “Girl?” I frowned. “Oh, no. That was a guy. I’m bisexual.”

  I preferred to let people know that before the first date, when possible. Some lesbians took issue with my sexuality, and I liked to weed them out before things went anywhere. Still, five minutes into the first date wasn’t too bad.

  I’d never gotten around to telling Sam, now that I thought about it. Not that it mattered – things weren’t going anywhere with him, either.

  “Ah,” Ella said. “I assume it didn’t work out with him, then.”

  “I don’t think so,” I said. “He’s a nice guy and all, just not for me. But I’m sure you don’t want to hear all the dirty details.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “I’m fine with hearing the clean ones.”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that! It’s a figure of speech.”

  Snorting, she picked up her mug again. “I know.”

  So she’d gotten me all flustered on purpose? This girl was more devious than I’d thought. I’d have to get her back for that somehow.

  “Anyway, tell me about your love life.” I gave her a cheeky smile.

  “There’s not much to tell,” she said. “I don’t meet women I’m interested in too often. Small-town life, and all. I’m not a fan of long-distance dating, either. Texting and phone calls just aren’t the same as being there in person.”

  “You can say that again.”

  She looked up at me from beneath lowered lashes. “So… what kind of person do you go for?”

  “I don’t have a specific type, at least not physically,” I said. “I’m a sapiosexual, really. I’m attracted to people’s brains, not their genitals. When I look back at my exes, they all challenged me mentally. I like someone who can think on my level.”

  “Sounds a little pretentious, but okay.”

  I coughed on the sip of tea I’d just taken. “You’re really going to sit there and call me pretentious to my face?”

  “If you say something pretentious, sure.” She smirked.

  “Wow.” I shook my head, more amused than offended. Ella was quick to take familiarities with me despite barely knowing me, and I had to admit I liked that about her. “So what do you look for in a partner? And you better not have the tiniest hint of pretension in your answer.”

  “Someone who can put up with me,” she said. “Who’s breathing. Preferably with a pulse.”

  I had to laugh. “All right, I’ll admit your answer was less pretentious than mine. There must be more to it than that, though.”

  “I was going to say ‘who has breasts and a vagina,’ but I’d be fine with dating a trans woman,” she said. “I guess it’s more like, ‘who identifies as female.’ I’ve been single my whole life. I’m not in a place to be picky.”

  “Seriously?” I shook my head. “Girls must be all over you. How have you not had a girlfriend yet?”

  “Why would they be all over me? I’m cute, or something?” Her lips twitched as if she was suppressing a smile.

  “You’re adorable,” I said. “I think I told you that already.”

  “Right.” She rolled her eyes. “I’d rather you described me as beautiful or hot or sexy, but I guess adorable is all right.”

  “I never said you couldn’t be any of the others, too.”

  She ran a finger along the rim of her mug. “Anyway, putting up with me might be a harder task than you’d expect.”

  “I doubt that.” I liked her more the more I got to know her. “What’s so horrible about you?”

  “Nice try,” she said. “You’ll have to find out for yourself.”

  I sipped my tea, keeping my eyes on Ella. I had a good feeling about her. I hadn’t seen anything to suggest I wouldn’t be able to “put up with her” for a good long while, or even indefinitely.

  “What do you do, anyway?” I asked. “I don’t think we’ve even covered that yet.”

  “I’m a librarian,” she said with a smile. “I actually work at the branch we were just at.”

  “Oh, right! Ian mentioned that last time.” I’d completely forgotten. “I’m a barista, by the way. I’m hoping to leave soon and find something in my field.”

  “What field is that?”

  “Well… I took a very useful major. Gender studies. Employers have been banging down my door trying to give me a job.” I shrugged self-deprecatingly. “I’m not exactly sure what I’ll actually do with that degree. I might go back to school and get another certification. Maybe HR, PR… I don’t know. I change my mind every day.”

  “That’s funny,” she said, staring at me more keenly than before. “Would you ever think about becoming a librarian?”

  “Totally!” I’d just been telling Sam that was my dream job the other day. “I heard it’s not that great and the job market sucks, though. Is that true?”

  “Kind of.” She was still looking at me funny. “I love the work, but it can be frustrating. And it’s true that there aren’t a lot of job openings. I was lucky to get my gig, and I’ll be even luckier if I manage to advance anytime soon. There are so many junior librarians like me, and the senior ones are in no rush to retire.”

  “Maybe it’s not the best plan for me, then.” I picked up my tea with a sigh. “Every day, I wish I didn’t have to work at all.”

  She squirmed in her chair as if my comment had made her uncomfortable. It’d been innocent enough, hadn’t it? Maybe it was a weird thing to say to someone who actually liked her job.

  “I better get going,” she said. “I’m supposed to, um… look after my little sister.”

  Why did she look so shifty right now? Something was up. It was as if she’d lost interest in me out of the blue. But why would she have? I bit my lip, disappointed. I could handle being rejected – I just wished I knew why it was happening.

  “All right,” I said. “Um… did you want to exchange numbers? Just in case we want to talk before the next meeting.” I was still interested, even if she might not be.

  She hesitated for a moment. Goddamn, what had I done wrong? “Sure,” she finally said. “I’ll take yours.”

  She pulled her phone out and tapped it a few times. “So… it’s J-U-L-I-E?”

  “Oh! No,” I said. “You must’ve misheard when Ian introduced us. It’s Judi, actually. Judi with an I.”

  She stared at me again, looking like she was about to be sick. “Right,” she mumbled. “Of course it is.”

  Nine – Ella

  Somehow I managed to make my way home despite my mind being in a frantic, unstoppable whirl. Julie, the gorgeous woman who’d piqued my interest two weeks ago… now appeared to be interested in me as well… which would’ve been perfect, except she was also Judi… the girl I’d been texting while pretending to be my brother!

  When I’d realized it, I’d been so dazed that I lied and said I had to get home and look after Coco. In reality, that was one of the chores Sam had taken over in exchange for me helping him on his date with Judi.

  As I came in the front door, I realized I actually could’ve told her I had plans with friends – because I did. I’d totally forgotten, swept up first by her magnetism and then by my own idiocy.

  I waved to Sam as I passed the kitchen. He and Coco were at the table, working on her science fair project with glue guns and glittery beads.

  “Hey!” he called. “It was my last day of work today! I didn’t ask Judi out again in person, so could you text her and suggest dinner sometime?”

  I paused in the doorway, feeling like I was going to throw up. “I’m on my way out,” I said, sounding harsher than I’d intended.

  “You didn’t text her today, right, since we were both working? Or did you text her after we got off?”

  I shook my head. I would’ve texted right after she got off work, but I’d been busy with the Pride meeting. The meeting she’d also been at. She’d even told me over text that she was doing volunteer work today. I hadn’t connected the dots.

  “Let me see your texts from yeste
rday,” Sam pressed. Coco hummed to herself as she glued beads together, unaffected by our discussion.

  “I told you, I’m going out!” I hurried up the stairs to my room and slammed the door behind me.

  Once I was alone, I rubbed my hands over my face. What was I going to do? I couldn’t even ask my friends for advice. The queer community was so small that word would probably get back to Judi. Or one of Sam’s friends would overhear and relay the information to him.

  Maybe I should tell him myself. I hadn’t done anything wrong, although he was going to be pissed when he found out I’d clicked with Judi. It wasn’t as if I’d tried to steal the girl he liked, but he was probably going to see it that way.

  God! He was so into her, too. He was practically obsessed with her, and they didn’t even have anything in common. She was a sapiosexual, and he was a dolt. A loveable dolt, but a dolt nonetheless.

  I lay down and pressed my face into the pillow. Maybe he’d be more okay with this than I thought. He knew he wasn’t as smart as her – right from the start, he’d said that was one reason he wanted me to speak for him. He’d known I could connect with her on her level better than he could.

  But I had a feeling he didn’t even know she was bi. That was going to make it even more of a kick in the teeth when he found out his sister had stolen his woman! Of course, that was assuming I’d be able to keep Judi’s interest once she found out.

  Unless… she didn’t find out.

  I sat up, my mind still racing. I needed to talk this through. Not with Sam, and definitely not with Judi… but with someone completely uninvolved.

  That was how I ended up recounting the story over drinks with my friends an hour later. “I was reading this crazy thing on the Internet,” I said, trying to sound as casual as I could. “This girl was talking to a girl online, pretending to be her guy friend, who liked her.”

  “Who liked who?” Deena asked. “The friend or the other girl?”

  “The other girl.” I inched my chair forward, making the creaky wooden table shake. “But it turned out the two girls met in real life, and they liked each other.”